S.I.N.G.L.E

In the spirit of showing you who I really am, all the fun imperfect stuff and the nitty gritty, it’s time to melt my two blogs into one. I’m bringing this little brain dump of an open letter and some more goodies across from my other blog. Let’s be real, so here’s more of the me that you might be able to relate to, or laugh with. Let me know your thoughts in the comments, you’ll find more of these goodies in the Lifestyle section. Read your hearts out!

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This is a letter to my family, loved ones and friends.  It comes about after something triggered me this weekend.

This one’s for the single people, I know you know.

So here goes…

Dear loved ones, 

Yes I am thirty five, I have a wonderful life with a job I love, colleagues I don’t hate and actually quite like, which is more than most from what I see of my friends. Yes, I live in rented accommodation, but I’m with three of the most remarkable, funny, kind and lovable girls who I come home to and share bottles of wine, rant and rave and end up with one too many prosecco hangovers after long nights of laughter and bars. It feels like home for a nomad like me.

The world is something that I go out and see as often as I can, with a wish list as long as my arm of all the places I want to visit, I’m saving every day to make sure I can run around the world many times a year, sometimes with friends but now more often as a solo traveller, which is new and which I have discovered I love. It’s ridiculously empowering, you should try it sometime.

My bills are paid, and I save. I’m a grown up who’s made plenty of financial f*ck ups and trust me, they are painfully burned into my soul. I’m clever with my money now, I’ve learnt how to fund my travel addiction and still have money to share a cocktail with friends on a Friday.

I have seen so much that I will be forever grateful for, I am glad I was a determined and annoying teenager, because of that I moved to New York all on my own for a year at the age of 23. It made me grow up. It also made me take less sh*t, I mean New Yorkers are tough, wonderful and exasperating all at the same time. They honed my hustling skills.

I have owned my own business, had global clients and worked all over the world for them, there were celebrities on my client list and I earned a pretty packet, ultimately I lost the business and I learnt from the hard, hard mistakes that nearly tore my life apart.

I got sick. Not just cough-cough-you’ll-be-ok sick, but we-need-to-crack-you-open-and-take-away-an-organ sick. I survived. I am not just lucky, I am grateful every day of my life and so are you, that I am still here.

I do not suffer fools, well….I try not to. I have a living bucket list and trust me you see me living the life out of it, doing everything I can as often as I want. I make things happen because some things won’t wait for you and no one else is going to make your life good, you have to do that for yourself, each and every day.

Despite what I achieve, how happy and healthy I am, you always come back to this one thing….

“Have you got a fella yet?” or “Anyone on the scene?” or my favourite “I don’t understand, why are you still single?”.

Us ‘over the hill’ single girls and guys are used to this, we get it all the time. But what you fail to understand is that sometimes it hits a nerve.

Trust me when I say, I do not want to be asked why I am still single, when I’m finding another failed dating experience really, really tough. When my heart has been jack hammered and my emotions are shredded because my hopes were high but he just decided no, I was not the one for him.

Please be delicate. It is not a free-for-all subject, and no there is no one you know that you can set me up with because that’s just kind of sad, isn’t it? That you are trawling your memory banks of everyone from your neighbours son, to the nice man who came and did your plumbing…anyone will do is the opinion that gives. Stop forcing it and let it be.

That’s because you see the idea of me being alone, as wrong. Maybe it is. I just don’t live life dwelling on it, and neither should you. One thing you should never hear from someone in your direct family is the words “Well, I’ve accepted a while ago that might not happen for you, children and the like…”

Bear in mind there are gut wrenching days when I wish I was not single, that I was off conquering new corners of the world with someone, but it’s a good job I like doing that alone, but if I had a choice yes of course I’d be sharing it with someone.

I had one of those days this weekend, it just so coincided with a large family gathering. The questions came, the comments came and I wanted to cry.

You hit a nerve.

You know I’m a pretty strong girl, but it’s not a subject open to make fun of and its definitely not the only thing about me that I have going on.  Start looking at the bigger picture, start thinking from my point of view. It is not all about whether I have a man in my life or not.

Please don’t think my life needs fixing because I do not have a boyfriend, help me to continue celebrating the absolute miracle that life is and keep telling me everything will happen when it’s good and ready.  Sometimes even this kick-arse girl needs reminding to top up her hope now and then.  There is so much more standing right in front of you, trying her best to love life, no matter the path it takes, single or not single.